Kassie's Soul
Mood:  happy
Topic: Self-Discovery
It's been long enough since I started this site for my therapy. Now, I plan to use the space.
As you know, I am Kassidy (Kassie 2 my friends).I am a pre-op Male 2 Female transsexual.I am trying to establish my identity to find out truly who I am on the inside. So, I am spilling my guts here.
I was born W------ D------ G----- in a sleepy, gossipy, little bible-toting community called Mountain Home, Arkansas. I was the oldest of three male children.
I have self- identified as female since my earliest recollection. I seen myself as a girl before I could ever differentiate male and female.
Growing up in that kind of stifling, (close) environment gave me no end of grief in how I related on a daily basis. I wanted to do girl stuff like make-up and clothes and such. I also wanted to be held, accepted , and loved as I was, not by who I pretended to be. (As if anyone could like the arrogant, stand-offish, Asshole I was.)
Like so many of my sisters, I participated in every macho, (boy) activity I could. I tried to convince myself of my worth as a boy as a way to deny how I felt inside. I felt ashamed to acknowledge my true nature. I can still hear my father telling me, "I didn't raise no Damn sissy!" So, I built this Alpha-male fascade to deter peoples' suspicions. I done a pretty good job too. Fooled almost everyone, except myself.
Christ sakes, did I waste a bunch of my life. Hell, I even got married to a pretty good person and brought my own unique brand of grief and chaos into her world. I feel kinda' bad about that, but at the same time I feel better off for the experience. I don't think I would be at the point in my life I am without her. Thanx Kerry!!!!!!
I have truly came out in most aspects of life except for a few family members. I have to do it in such a way as to not upset the balance of things. I will do that in very short order now. I will be finishing that task in mid to late September. DAMN, I can't wait.
With any luck, I should be starting classes in November or thereabouts. I want to be in classes and getting good hormone results by end of year or late winter. Then, I will change my name and present Kassie for the world to behold.
I am growing up, BLOSSOMING, as Kelly puts it. I am actually planning for the future, and honestly want to be a part of it. I think the world will be a better place with ME in it.
For now, That's all I got to say 'bout that.

When Kelly Met Kassie
Mood:  amorous
Topic: Acceptance
This entry begins on January 24, 2004 . It was the most significant day in my new life. That was the day my wife met Kassie.
I had known her for several months. I had told her that I "dressed-up" and she was cool with that. Then one night I went out En Femme and when our eyes locked, that was all she wrote. We have been thicker than thieves ever since.
Who else can understand a TS like another TS? Not many could. I never have that worry of, "Oh honey, by the way, I have something we need to talk about" or " I have no idea how those panties got in my drawer" I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. And if there's anything I need to know, two heads are better than one.
Who else is gonna' understand the personal hardships you're going through? Unconditionally. Who has already been where you are and can help with understanding the sacrifices and plans you are making to ensure your future happiness
That closeness, that mutual respect for eachothers tenacity for following things through, and kindred interests and reciprocated affection that makes you look forward to each morning. That is what makes life worth living.